Tony in the Shower
by VampireApple
Summary: Pepper confronts Tony about his misdeeds in an odd place.


Disclaimer: I don't down Avengers.

(((((*)))))

Pepper was a master with strategies. Tony liked to speculate that she been Alexander the Great. No one really disagreed with him. It was the absolute conviction of the Avengers that if Pepper and Coulson worked together they would take over the world in two weeks flat. Clint, and sometimes Tony, would encourage that idea. But that is a story for another day. Today Pepper's goal was much more simple, but much more important.

When Pepper needed to confront Tony about something, an issue he did not want to talk about, or a task he did not want to complete, Pepper had a few sure fire ways of ensuring he could not run away. It was just a matter of bidding her time and waiting for the opportune moment. She was in luck this week- her moment came just hours after she was aware of the problem.

Pepper let herself into Tony's bathroom. The water was already running and he was stripping, unaware of her being there. She went over to the sink and hopped up on it, relaxing against the wall.

"Tony."

He jumpded and spun around to face her, his hand over this arc reactor.

"Pepper, you're going to be the death of me!" He noticed her serious expression. "Aw, c'mon, Pep. Couldn't this wait? I'm kinda in the middle of something. I'm covered in oil, grime, soot, sweat-"

"First off, Tony, you haven't started anything, you're just naked. Secondly, you have the ability to multi-task, so you can shower and listen to me. Thirdly, the only way you won't be able to focus is if you play with yourself, which I will know about because your shower is an open one."

"…ouch." Tony stepped under the water, winced, and readjusted the temperature. He furiously tried to think of a reason why she was here. It wouldn't be about the plans he and Clint were working on, or about his new super secret project. Maybe it was about-

"Tony, you have got to stop pranking people."

Tony groaned inwardly. Damn, it was about him rearranging Steve's sock drawer. He stated washing his hair. "Pep-"

"You're not working on a flying skate board, so telling Pym that you'll win the popularity contest by 'making the dreams of everyone who watched Back to the Future come true' is a terrible thing to do."

"That's a horrible untruth! I totally have plans to make one. Ask JARVIS."

"I did. You talked about doing that when you were drunk five years ago."

"It still counts," he sulked in an injured voice.

"No, Tony, it doesn't. Purposefully antagonizing him is not helpful, even if he is a business rival."

Tony let out a very unmanly shriek as shampoo got in his eye. He tried to wash it out only to get some in his other eye.

Pepper rolled her eyes, completely unsympathetic. "Tony, I need you to focus."

"I am being serious! I might seriously be blind! How will I be able to fly the suit? Maybe JARVIS could be my eyes. Oh, I could-" Tony blinked. His vision was clearing though his eyes still stung. "Crisis averted. Okay, I got it, no more telling Pym about my awesome hover board project. You can leave now." He started to wash his body.

Pepper sighed. That would do for now. However, there was still more.

"Tony, you're also hacking Reeds."

"Pffft. You have no proof of that." He waved a sudsy luffa sponge at her.

The door opened and Bruce walked in. He was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Pepper blinked but otherwise did not react. Tony just watched him.

"Tony, all his passwords were changed to PrettyPrettyPrincess"

Bruce walked across the room to the shower.

"his computers call him Lord Fluffy-Kins"

He shoved Tony out of the way. Tony blew him a kiss.

"and his security system sprays Johnny down"

Bruce grabbed two bottles from a shelf in the shower.

"every time he enters the building."

Bruce left the room, a trail of small puddles in his wake.

"The water will destroy something valuable."

"I'll tell Thor to knock it off and stop messing around."

She stared at him. He ignored her.

"And that brings me to Hank."

Toy fought a smirk.

"Tony, please stop trolling him."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He rinsed off and grabbed a towel.

"He does not appreciate 'fan letters' that ask him if he's Gonzo's older brother, or the letters from 'Kermit' asking him to come home. Or the packages of cookies addressed to the Cookie Monster." Pepper had to admit, if only to herself, that is was difficult to say that last part with a straight face. She was very proud she said it seriously.

Tony laughed and started to get dressed. "I make no promises, because its totally not me doing anything."

"Tony, I have better things to do with my time then lecture you."

Tony smiled at her and left the bathroom. "Ciao bella."

Pepper sighed and followed after him. She'd stemmed the flood for a little while. She would have Coulson to talk to him next time.


End file.
